Mission 6: An Expert Tale of Murder and Mayhem for PunkApocalyptic: The RPG

The religions of the Before Times suffered a few setbacks after the Great Fuckening. Surprised? They certainly were. Considering that nearly all of them believed that their faith made them the sole proprietors of the “Truth,” and if you handed over your shekels and emptied your head of questions, you were guaranteed a spot on the express train to Paradise.

Well, it turns out that Marx wasn’t wrong when he said that religion was the opiate of the masses. When the diseases began to spread and cut down millions like threshers in a wheatfield, and the environment collapsed and global temperatures skyrocketed, and the wealthiest assholes withdrew to their megalopolis—who was left holding their junk and nothing else? All those poor bastards who had faith—faith in the system, in their god, in their country, in their political party, faith in Kid Rock and their hate for Bud Light, and most importantly, in their chances at winning the MegaMillions.

All of it turned out to be one giant delusional suckfest. Other than despair and death, they got a whole lot of nothing for their steadfast faith. Sad.

In Satan Is Real, the mercs discover that maybe there was something after all to that “old-time religion.” In an even more rotten corner of an already rotten world, the dead rise, a preacher man holds revivals in a tent, and folks come from all around for a chance at salvation.

Could it be? Could the old gods from the Before Times actually be real and returning to save us all? Keep reading to find out!